Speaker 1: 0:00

Welcome to Cut the Tie podcast. Hello, I'm your host, Thomas Helfrich. I'm on a mission to help you cut a tie to whatever it is holding you back from success, and that success is defined by you. And today I'm joined by Clifford Starks. Clifford, how are you?

Speaker 2: 0:13

I'm doing amazing. Thank you, looking forward to get into this.

Speaker 1: 0:17

I love it. I always answer I'm delicious or tantalizing, because that way people have to go look up Ruth's second word. But amazing is a much more powerful word than good. Thank you, Clifford. Take a moment, Introduce yourself and what it is you do.

Speaker 2: 0:35

Yeah, my name is Clifford Starks. I support leaders who want to. Either they're performing at a high level and they want to get to another level, or they just want to perform at the high level for their first time ever. I support entrepreneurs, business owners and anyone who has a passion to grow, learn and achieve more out of their life and their business.

Speaker 1: 0:54

And when you said another level, I assumed you mean up versus I actually want to get worse.

Speaker 2: 0:58

Yeah, yeah. I haven't seen anyone who said that, but I might take on that challenge. I don't know, I'd like to become less.

Speaker 1: 1:05

Less. That's a new one. Wouldn't that be a weird conversation? That would be unique. You Google any idea, any business. There's a million people already doing it In your space. It's very competitive as well. There's a lot of people who do this. Why you? What's the unique differentiator that you have?

Speaker 2: 1:26

I have done a couple crazy things on my journey. I was an overweight kid and ended up losing the weight. I lost 80 pounds. I was a male figure who trained women for a living and got weight off of them. That was interesting because, let me tell you, men and women think completely different, so there's a lot of learning experiences there, and I have stepped inside of a UFC cage and became an entrepreneur and I quickly, quickly realized that the UFC and being a business owner is much the same.

Speaker 1: 2:00

A lot of the things that people do not see are the most important things to do I could imagine stepping the ufc cage I I have no interest in getting punched or punching anyone or kicking anyone. Like I've gotten through my life without a fight. Uh, not saying I haven't been on the ground wrestling or how to do, but I've never like gone fisticuffs of somebody where we were like nice, I've usually I've usually used my words to trick them in mind, make them think a second. Like you know, what are you going to say? I was like, oh, you know, give me an example.

Speaker 1: 2:33

I remember this kid wanted to fight me. I didn't have any wounds. I was like, oh, clearly you've done a lot of karate, right. And he was like what does this guy know? He backed off. It was amazing. I was like I don't know shit. But I was like I didn't know it either, but I know you don't, so I love it. I thought it was amazing what he got. I was like, exactly, think about what you're about to do. Now I'm also like, at the time, 210 pounds person, and this person was not. But the small guys, the ones who always scared me, I'm like, god damn, these guys got nothing to lose. The five-year-old guy getting all mad at me. I'm like he's going to knock me out. Anyway, that probably won't make the cut for it, but I wanted to share that with you Without a fight.

Speaker 2: 3:18

So I got these ears right here. Wow, those are rustling ears. Those are right here these days. Wow, there's a rustic hearing. Those are awesome. Years and um, as I I go, the older I get, the the wiser I get at playing this, this game. And so when you can look at, okay, what are my advantages and what are my disadvantages? He, he basically gave you his card on yeah, I don't know, I don't know, karate, did you take it like?

Speaker 1: 3:44

I could just tell him he wasn't a fighter. I mean, he was standing flat like he was about to go weaver stance with the gut. I was like what are you gonna do here? You're not even. You have no lead, like at least I, you know. I was like that doesn't waste, it's the guy that don't say anything you have to worry about, because it just hits you first, since the guy's talking his mouth like I didn't know anything. Um, anyway, uh, you're uh the the two things I'll leave.

Speaker 1: 4:07

Guys, if you see somebody who has cauliflower here or their neck is wider than their head, don't mess with them, period. Don't say a word, because they will own you on. You'll be on the ground in in a, in a knot and minutes. Just, I'm pleased to be. You come out and the guy's like looking at you and just shaking his head, like stop talking, or I'm going to make you stop talking. That guy is serious. Yep, it's actually. You know who it is. You got to look out for him. It's the white dudes who yell a lot out of their car because then they wrench for a gun. Those are the scariest humans on the planet, that's pretty terrifying.

Speaker 1: 4:46

Yeah, if those are the rednecks, you got to look out for the rednecks. You hear a yeehaw people One. Leave it out there. Nothing against rednecks, a little bit, all right.

Speaker 2: 4:54

How do you define success? So success to me is a combination of two specific things. One, it's feeling fulfilled in what I'm doing, so got to love what it is that I'm doing. And then two is my achievements. So what results am I getting? What rewards am I getting? Why am I doing what I'm doing?

Speaker 1: 5:14

So I want to enjoy it, but I also want to get a result too. Yeah, that's a competitive nature in you. Just mindless enjoyment is just a dopamine rush versus a sense of accomplishment. Right, if you're describing there, now defining the accomplishment, it could be in money, it could be in sport, it could be in faith, it could be in family. Did you have one? Just so I can narrow in the success for a little bit of where you-.

Speaker 2: 5:34

Yeah, yeah. So what was really interesting, what I'm noticing, at least what I've noticed on my journey if I focus on one, the others will actually follow, and what I mean by that is focus on the lessons, not just the result, Like I said, enjoying it and getting the achievement. So if I say, like, I love my business but my health is suffering and my relationships are suffering, that means I don't have business figured out, Because to have business figured out like if you really create a business, a business is something that can sustain by itself, and so I look at life as okay, what's the one focus and what's going to teach me the lessons that I need to learn so that I can be a complete human being? As I go through my journey, I go oh, this is a game of leadership. Always been the best leader you can be.

Speaker 1: 6:32

I'm personally going through that too. So I'm about five years into an entrepreneurial journey where you start off typically with I call it the three Ps right, you got, you got a passion, you got some potential and you got a problem you solve. You are generally the one leading that in a. In a you create, you typically will come out at creating your own job for yourself. That's what it is, and and, and. That's a great way to start. It's almost every entrepreneur does start.

Speaker 1: 6:55

I'm in that phase of I don't want to do this 10 years from now. How do I build a business that I can remove myself for, which means I can sell and exit, but also I can grow it, I can scale it, and you don't realize this, maybe right away, or you do, you just don't know how to solve it, and I'm going through that right now. So I totally get it, because that's what it is a business when there's a lead and deal flow and you don't have to be a part of everything that goes on. So absolutely yeah, yeah, or, by the way, that's. I think I'm finding that to be a very hard step in life, so maybe I'll talk to you offline.

Speaker 2: 7:25

Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 1: 7:27

And and uh, in your journey you had to cut a tie to get to where you are, to the success you just defined for yourself. What was the biggest tie you had to cut?

Speaker 2: 7:39

Honestly what you, what you just said transparently is hey, this is, this is one of the toughest things that I'm that I'm going through learning to speak out what my challenges were, because I didn't know how to do that. Like I was really really good at figuring out the problem and being really really quiet about my journey, my story, what I w, what I was struggling with, Cause I thought that's what you do you figure it out, you make it happen, you do what you got to do.

Speaker 1: 8:11

Yeah, the uh, you're describing something even deeper, uh, in what it drives into and I and I you and I were talking a little offline before this, but, uh, I'm sure with everybody I can only get the perspective of men because of myself and that we feel very compelled to show a face of success to our loved ones, to the friends, the circles around us. And as we don't figure things out or figure things out, we put the face forward and you start feeling like you almost have a second persona alive and then you feel very alone, sometimes in your own thoughts and your own world, even though you're surrounded by people who support you or not, and because it's hard to be that vulnerable person. That's like I don't really know what I'm doing right now. I'm really struggling, but I'm, I gotta keep going. You know you're getting punched. You're UFC, you're getting punched in the face. I got to figure a way to defend this and win this fight, otherwise I'm going to get knocked out.

Speaker 1: 9:04

Yeah, right, and, and so, anyway, I, I the be on the flip side to say I need help. This is my journey. I, I, I don't know. I don't know. I think that's what you're alluding to.

Speaker 2: 9:17

Yeah, yeah, well, I, I look at like my um 2025, right Cause I say what, whatever?

Speaker 1: 9:40

whatever we focus on gross, where attention goes, energy flows, and mine was to ask for help, like that was literally my goal for 2025 and it was not normal for me, like it wasn't a normal thing for me to do. No, I that I mean good for you, because, uh, yeah, I mean I could do it. I could do the social, this part solo. So I'm gonna just pause. We're gonna keep moving forward here. No, no, I get it. I have a book about it coming out, anyway. So that's exactly. It's Cut the Tie and the release date's unknown. A big part of writing a book, by the way, is procrastination. I don't know if you guys know that. It's like 95% of it. It is far from it. Yes, what was your moment? The the aha moment, when you realized I need to cut that tie?

Speaker 2: 10:19

when my coach challenged me to cut it because I didn't even know I was doing it. There's a there's a saying sometimes you don't know what you're doing until someone points it out. It's good, coach. Yeah, that's very good. She's amazing at what she does. I'll actually give her a shout out. Uh, her name is lauren archibald. Now she's a coach, guide, mentor, consultant very good.

Speaker 1: 10:42

Well, I'm happy to you know, listen in any endorsement. And now you have to bring her on the show. You have to, you have to invite her in, oh yeah yeah, yeah, I'll connect with this.

Speaker 1: 10:49

Uh, do you remember how you? You did that, though you know? It's one thing that it's one thing to know the tie, it's, you know, identify, which is huge. It's another to remember, to realize the moment, right of like, oh, I, I'm gonna do this. Then comes the how. Yeah, what? How did you do it? Or how are you doing it? If you're working through it?

Speaker 2: 11:07

um, by just asking more people for help, because I it's just like anything else, like you're not good at it until you do it, and then you get better at it. Right, and one one of my main skills is execution know how to execute. So when I see something, I can execute on that thing. And I know it feels actually a little bit uncomfortable, if not a lot of uncomfortable, to execute it at first, just like anything that we do. But when we do it enough times we get better at it and we start mastering it and we start getting deeper and deeper and understanding the nuances more and more. So the how usually is the easy part for me, just like the cage, the cage in the back usually is the easy part for me, just like the cage, the cage in the back. I just need the awareness to even know that I have to do this thing because I never.

Speaker 2: 12:00

There's a saying a fish only knows that it's in the water when it's out of the water, and so we're in layers of water and we get pulled out of one layer of water and go like, oh wow, I figured something out. And then you get pulled like oh, my goodness, there's more to learn and there's more growing to do and eventually, like I'm 44 now and I go oh crap, this game never stops. You never stop learning, you never stop growing. You just keep stepping further. You see bigger and bigger perspectives, you get bigger and bigger insights and you just really start polishing those lessons up.

Speaker 1: 12:37

Don't you wish you were as smart as you were when you knew everything in the 20s?

Speaker 2: 12:43

You know what is so crazy? It was interesting. My journey is a bit different, it's a little unique, but one thing that I maintain is curiosity, and I've had curiosity since I was a kid. I'm just a really curious person and I said to myself the one thing that I know is I don't know that much and I ended up connecting with he's a good friend now these days, and he goes. That's a very wise thing to say.

Speaker 2: 13:12

I never even thought of that as being wisdom to be curious yeah and so, as I went through my journey, I I started learning like if I can tell anyone anything. Curiosity is one of the most freeing, powerful things that you can do, because when I maintain curiosity, I feel light, when I don't, I feel heavy.

Speaker 1: 13:39

Well, you're describing some pieces there with the, the, how uh, one one is is allowing yourself the space not to be judged, or the, the fear of of, of sucking, like I have a fear of like sucking. So it's like I just put out my first kind of course for YouTube for free and I'm like I know it's like not great, but it's like I don't care, I'm just going to go do it the first time and you have these fears that you tie stuff to. But as soon as you let it go, it becomes easy and or easier, and with the idea and the mindset that I I'm going to do it and just learn from it and improve it. And you know I can make fun of myself later of how bad that was, but that that's a one week it was.

Speaker 1: 14:07

If you are coasting, you're going downhill and you're on the decline and it's so true, metaphorically, like if you're not curious, you're not learning, you're not trying to climb, you're not jumping out of water to see what being out of the water is, like that imposter syndrome. You're not growing and you're not learning from the experience, because it's just not significant enough to do anything for you. You're just kind of riding it and it's easy, and there's there's times you should coast because you got to take a break. You know you don't have to fill in the pedal the whole time, but if you're, if you find yourself coasting and you notice it, you might want to do something different for your thought.

Speaker 2: 14:44

You know I, I tell people, just enjoy it, Enjoy your journey, Enjoy it fully, like even you. Talking about you, one, I want to say congratulations for getting your YouTube video out there. And then, two, you don't know who it's going to serve. You know you might serve someone and transform them, and you didn't even know you were going to do that. And that's how I kind of look at the journey. Is I? I set my intention out there, like, look, this is what I'm looking to do, this is what I'm looking to serve, this is what I'm looking to support, and I let the chips fall where they're going to fall, cause the one thing that I do know is that I don't always know what people are going to like, what's going to serve them, what they're going to appreciate, and sometimes it's the thing.

Speaker 1: 15:35

I'm like that's the thing they wanted to hear, like, yeah, that was the thing they wanted to hear. I agreed and it's uh. I'm not questioning the journey. I'm trying to look as many things in life that's happening for me, even when I'm like, oh, I really wish this wasn't happening to him. You're in him now, um and and like that perspective is crazy. Hey, awesome, come be a part of it. That's totally like listen, that's like the best, the whole reason we do anything, what's up? Hello For those listening. The, the, the, the most important people in his life, just appeared on on on the show.

Speaker 1: 16:02

It's great.

Speaker 2: 16:06

He shared that story with me it's funny I'll be telling good stories too. Yeah, well, what? What question were you asking, me or him?

Speaker 1: 16:41

He's your podcatcher. My next question for you is pretty simple what are you most grateful for? But I think it just walked in the room.

Speaker 2: 16:52

Yeah, yeah, I am grateful to be alive, I'm grateful for the present moment, grateful for my kids, grateful for my wife Been married 18 years yeah, 18 years. And uh, yeah, we have our eight-year-old and our four-year-old. And it's been. It's been a ride in a journey, riding the waves and having a lot of fun on the ups, the downs, the lefts and the rights right, what, uh what advice would you give the listener?

Speaker 2: 17:20

you're amazing. I think people need to hear that a lot more. I think, um, as I go through this journey, one of my greatest lessons it was it was interesting. As you said, you're open for racism politics, speaking on anything, and I respect that because, like I say, I look back here and this is the arena. We're stepping in it all the time and sometimes we don't even realize that we're stepping in it.

Speaker 2: 17:46

Um, I, I lived in Ahwatukee and it was actually called Ahwatukee. It was not the most, uh, fun experiences, but I learned a lot, and the biggest thing that I learned is that everyone's really the same more than they realize. And I also learned, like, it's important that people feel good about themselves, because when people feel good, they want others to feel good. It's just in our nature, and so I I just send out that reminder to everyone Like, if you're looking to, if you want to feel good or make others feel good, feel good about you first, and it's going to take leadership, it's going to take looking within, but no one, no one else, can make you feel small except for yourself, and everyone has to go through that journey on their, on their own, and learn that. Learn that journey on their own time. Yep, that's solid advice?

Speaker 1: 18:35

Who gives you inspiration?

Speaker 2: 18:48

everybody does. You know, I I find there's. I look at the world as dualistic and there's a pro and a con to everything and you get to choose how you're going to look at it. So I say I get inspiration being on with you, having this laptop that I get to be on my kid, being able to interrupt me and not getting in any trouble like that one newscaster, that poor guy, his kids came coming in and the mom's like oh goodness. So I'm just inspired by it all because I get to see it for the positive or the negative.

Speaker 1: 19:15

That's great. What's some of the best business advice you've received?

Speaker 2: 19:20

Find someone who has actually done the thing and helped others do the thing. You want someone who can communicate effectively so that you can take effective actions I like that.

Speaker 1: 19:33

That's tough when you have a new idea. I will say that's a but there's. There's still probably advice to get, but what's your what's kind of that? Recommended must read book.

Speaker 2: 19:44

Thinking grow rich is the first thing that pops into my head, because it goes so deep into the power of desire. I'm really big on desire and I notice there's our desires and there's our doubts. And when we hold on to our desire, we'll figure it. Our desire, we'll figure it out, we'll figure it out. If we hold on to our doubts, we'll we'll figure that out too. The doubts get heavy and they have us walk away from our desires yeah, what?

Speaker 1: 20:13

it's a quote from a song. It's it's not the world that's heavy, it's the things that you save right, yeah, I love that. Let go of some stuff once in a while. I think it's a Neil Young song. By the way, it's called Jerking Away. You're going to have to tell Rob it's hokey, but I like it. That's me, though. If you could start over today at any one period of your life, what period of life would you go back to, and what would you do differently?

Speaker 2: 20:42

Wow, that's a good question. Um, probably 19. The only thing I would do differently is document everything, and I don't even know if I could tell that 19 year old to document everything. I don't even know if he'd understand what I was saying, but I, I've learned. Yeah, I've learned so much, and what I? What I love about the journey is when it's documented. You can share it with others as learning lessons for them, if it supports them.

Speaker 1: 21:18

I like that. So in that advice, you should start documenting everything now. Maybe you are.

Speaker 2: 21:23

Oh yeah just, oh, big, big time, big time. Yeah, I have. Um, I am documenting now like I've never documented before, and I, six years ago, seven years ago, if you said you were going to do this, I'd be like, no, I'm not going to. But it's crazy, I'm learning too it's interesting, I didn't realize.

Speaker 1: 21:42

You, I've done a lot of shows but I didn't realize, kind of when I was doing it. Like my kids will be able to see those forever and uh, and my kids will be like, oh well, you know, daddy or grandpa or whatever it was here, here, you know anyway. So I I didn't, I didn't kind of realize that and it's kind of a neat thing and it's uh, it's, it's in the documentation kind of idea of what to do. So if there was one question I should have asked you today, and I didn't. What would that question have been and how do you answer it?

Speaker 2: 22:12

that's a good question in and of itself. So what I would say? There was one question you didn't ask me. There was one question you didn't ask me. Well, you asked me why I do what I do, which I do love and then it's what got you started and why you do what you do, and what got me started and why I do what I do? I was an overweight kid who wanted something different, and I went after it and I got to hear a lot of people who cheered me on and people who booed me. And there's one person he said you're going to have two people cheering and 20 people booing. And I could say that's very true, but they're not booing you, they're booing their own dreams that they haven't realized. And so go realize your dream. Go realize your dream. And the more you realize your dream, the more people start taking their blinders off and start realizing theirs.

Speaker 1: 23:10

I love that. Clifford, thank you so much for coming on today. I appreciate every minute. Yeah, thomas, thank you, I appreciate it. I call it the shame with plug time. Who should get ahold of you and how do they do that?

Speaker 2: 23:22

Yeah, if you're a high performer and you're looking to continue to perform, continue to build that legacy and you just you don't know how to do that or who can support uh, please reach out and if you're looking to be a high performer, if you're like you know what I want to. I want to build a legacy, I want to do amazing things. I want to be the leader that I know I'm capable of being. Love to be, love to connect with you as well, and the way you connect with me, either on LinkedIn or on Facebook under Clifford Starks, and just reach out, let me know. You were on, cut the tie and I have a conversation with you.

Speaker 1: 23:56

Wonderful. Thank you again so much for coming in today. I'm very grateful for the time you've given me. Yeah, yeah, thank you for having me Listen. Everyone still watching, listening. I appreciate you getting here. If this was your first time here, I hope it's the first of many. Go out there. Go figure out what ties you need to cut, find a way to cut them and start working toward it 1% a day at worst, right, and get better you.