Speaker 1: 0:00

Welcome to the Cut the Tie podcast. Hi, I'm your host, thomas Helfrich, on a mission to help you cut the tie to whatever it is holding you back, and you better define your own success, because otherwise you're chasing success of somebody else and you don't have much ties to cut. But today we're gonna hear somebody else's story Rae Hyde, cornell Rae, how are you?

Speaker 2: 0:19

Good, I'm good. Thanks for having me.

Speaker 1: 0:21

I appreciate it. No, it's R-A-I Am I saying it right, Rae?

Speaker 2: 0:23

You should got it. Yeah, I'm pretty impressed.

Speaker 1: 0:29

Most people don't get it right.

Speaker 2: 0:30

the first time Were you disappointed before we get to know you in Star Wars that he spelled her name wrong. No, I was relieved because if they spelled it the way that my name is spelled, then she would have had the same problem that I have, which is everyone pronouncing it like rye bread right guy works for me.

Speaker 1: 0:46

His name is kaido k-a-i-t-o, and for nine months of the first you know we were working together for almost five years. I call him kato and he said hey, by the way, my name is kaido. I was like you took your nine months to correct me seriously. But I know that that's ray, because I try. No parent would do that to you. Cornell, take a moment to introduce yourself and what it is you do.

Speaker 2: 1:09

Yeah, so I am a marketing psychology strategist. I do content marketing and build full funnel, organic content marketing funnels for B2B companies. In a previous life I was a corrections and substance abuse counselor, so I now bring all of those behavior change models into marketing.

Speaker 1: 1:26

So you help people get addicted to your content is what I'm hearing.

Speaker 2: 1:28

Pretty much yeah.

Speaker 1: 1:30

It's funny, though it's the same channels in the brain.

Speaker 2: 1:32

It is, it is and it's Exactly Dopamine, oxytocin, endorphins. That's how we build the know like and trust factor.

Speaker 1: 1:40

Yep as a company that does stuff with this. We add one more element in there called relevance. Yeah, that gets people to buy. We'll take that up morning. Maybe we'll do a. Maybe I have another show you should come on.

Speaker 2: 1:52

We should talk about that oh, you and I could talk for days about that, yeah well, you know what?

Speaker 1: 1:57

maybe a host, because I I fall asleep after talking about it for like two or three hours. All right, uh, in your business it is incredibly competitive, even in the psychology piece. But there are people, there's a lot of people, who claim at least to do what you do and you sound like you have an actual credentialed background on it. But what is your differentiator? Why do people pick you?

Speaker 2: 2:17

Yeah, I mean, it really is my background, because I worked with the most difficult and deeply ingrained behaviors, like personality disorders, criminal behavior, substance abuse. I understand what it takes to change behavior and, ultimately, what is marketing. You're trying to use language and visual messaging to change a buyer's behavior from choosing your competitors or doing nothing to choosing you.

Speaker 1: 2:43

Yeah, and that background I got to tell you, so just to give her creds. I'm in the marketing space. I will tell you you can't learn that on your own. You're going to get some actual fundamental. It's one of the rare use cases of schooling that actually works. You can YouTube it a little bit, but nah, the truth is you really got to deep dive, understand it at a mechanism level so you can execute. So I do see an advantage for you there. I don't say that everyone who answers that question has it. I might just move forward, but I will give you that so people can properly stalk you while they listen to you talk today. Give them one link, just one, that they can go stalk you at.

Speaker 2: 3:15

Yeah, Best would be LinkedIn, so linkedincom. Slash, I-N slash and then my name R-A-I.

Speaker 1: 3:25

Cornell C-O-R-M-E-L-L. Very good, thank you. So go stalk away while she's talking. Now, all right, before we get into your journey and the ties that you've had to cut, so to speak. How do you define success?

Speaker 2: 3:33

Success is creating your own standards and living up to them. So too often people are living up to the standards of their parents or of society, thinking, oh, you have to go to college, you have to get the job, you have to get the corner office, you have to get the house, you have to have the 2.5 kids. But is that really success? If you're miserable doing it, you have to set your own standards, and until you do that you have no idea what success actually looks like.

Speaker 1: 4:03

And when you defined it, did you have that like the moment where it became clear Like I would say like that is definitely success for me. Do you remember kind of how that went for you?

Speaker 2: 4:14

Yeah, I mean, I think, being someone who's been self-employed for so long, I'm going in my 18th year in marketing and started out as a freelancer way back in the day and it's always been about survival.

Speaker 2: 4:31

Until you get to a certain point and once you feel like you've kind of figured out your thing and your niche and your market and how you can really add value to businesses, you can finally step out of survival mode. And then suddenly you can think, oh wait, I don't just have to focus on paying rent, I don't just have to figure out how I'm going to buy groceries. I can actually do something with my life and have something to aim for. And it's once you hit that point and you start picturing what am I doing all of this for? And I don't know a single entrepreneur who has not had that sort of mid-career crisis of why am I doing this? Why am I hustling? Why am I working so hard? What is all this for? Once you have that freak out moment and you decide why you're doing it all, that's when your picture of success really becomes clear.

Speaker 1: 5:20

I feel like you're reading my brain right now. You've been there do you have jedi mind trick? Just just are you a jedi a little bit. Yeah, I mean, you know what I do well, you say that because, uh, so I'll, I share this. I mean, I live the life of cut the tie right. So so a few years ago stopped drinking, you know, I got in shape, did all the stuff, and then this year I did adult adhd, which is frontal cortex dopamine regulation. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1: 5:46

Stuff that you're always like, this is how you are and you accept that that's the crazy you live in, but you don't realize how many glass boxes are around you, yeah, so you break through the other side and this is new for me.

Speaker 1: 5:56

I got eight weeks in and I will tell you I've done more to my business in the last eight weeks than I have in the last four years. Wow, and the reason is I was like, wow, we help people with lead generation, right, yeah, what you do, you're in one of our boxes, right, you need to look at this piece. But what I found was, when people only focus on, like the lead gen piece, the reason it doesn't work is they're not looking at the holistic things that everyone looks at the psychology behind it, their brand, the problem they solve Is it desperate or is it you solving for you? Like, looking at all these elements, nothing's going to work unless your offer matches. And so I realized, like man, I need to just go all in on that, because the truth is no one's looking at. They're trying to sell software solutions and services that ultimately benefit the marketing agency and not the customer.

Speaker 2: 6:39

Right.

Speaker 1: 6:39

And so so I I agree with you. Just to extrapolate that to the listener the more you niche into something you really saw really well, people will know you for it and it'll be very easy to go from where's my next client to. I can charge more now because I'm full.

Speaker 2: 6:55

Yeah, exactly, it's that line between being so afraid of missing the next opportunity or the next paycheck, and so you decide that you do everything and you're going to be a generalist and you'll take anything that comes your way to actually deciding no, that's not how I want to be remembered, because I'm not going to be remembered at all that way, and instead I want to be known for fill in the blank 100% On your own journey.

Speaker 1: 7:19

right, You're 18 years in it. What's been the biggest tie to date that you've?

Speaker 2: 7:23

You know, I've been thinking about this for a couple of days now, and it's hard to say what the biggest one was, because at each point that I made these big cuts, it felt like the scariest thing I'd ever done in my career, and each one gave me the courage to do the next one.

Speaker 2: 7:47

And I had to think about well, which one am I going to say? You know, when he asked me what's the biggest tie that I have cut, which one do I choose? I can't choose just one, but I can tell you that they all had the same theme and I cut each of those ties because of the way I was being treated. And so it's less about cutting a tie for a reason, because, you know, I want to move to a different country or become a digital nomad, or, you know, people give all these kinds of reasons, of lifestyle changes or goals or dreams. My ties were always cut because of the way I was being treated, and I decided to tell the world, the universe, you know, whatever you believe in, hey, I'm not going to tolerate this anymore, and so I'm not going to exchange my quality of life and my self-worth for a paycheck.

Speaker 1: 8:39

That is a very big realization and that's one of the hardest ones to go. Did you find that the paycheck that was secure was nothing more than a false lie? Once you've gotten through the how do I pay my groceries mode, do you see how that? Maybe not. I mean, do you see that maybe, like well, that's just kind of I've been sold a lie on that steady idea.

Speaker 2: 9:02

Yeah, exactly Because the thing is, the places that have been the most steady source of income for me and you know, I am a consultant, I run a marketing agency, so we have multiple clients at a time and when I think about the clients that I've had the longest relationship with, it's always been where I'm treated like a partner, like a valuable resource, like someone who's a part of the team, even though I'm technically a third party vendor.

Speaker 2: 9:32

And it's been the situations where, even when the paycheck was the biggest one I had ever brought in, where that was the most precarious and I knew that I wasn't being valued as a member of the team and I was being basically treated like shit if I can say that on this podcast and the temptation of sticking with it and, just, you know, gritting my teeth and bearing it that was on the other side of the teeter-totter was this big paycheck that was going to, you know, keep our business afloat and keep my team well-paid and all of that. But I knew that because this one person who was the linchpin of the relationship was not invested in the relationship. That paycheck could go away at any moment and so I needed to be the one to say you know what? I'm not doing this, I'm not putting up with this. I don't care how much money it's for, we're just going to go our own way, because then you're choosing your own fate.

Speaker 1: 10:35

That's a hard one. It's like firing a client or something else. I got to tell you at the time I couldn't afford to fire that client, but I also couldn't afford to lose a whole team over it. Then what happens? You don't pick a client like that in the future, exactly and really, or you charge them so much. You're like, guys, it's going to suck, I'm going to pay you extra, yeah. And they're like, yeah, we get it, Thanks. So I agree, what's been kind of the impact in your life since you know it's been a while, right, but you've had this journey? Maybe the impact I'd like to hear about is when you decided to just focus on that one thing and go from. Well, I'll draw on. The screen here is like an up and down arrow. It's the revenue cycle of feast and fathom, which is what many entrepreneurs go through when they're not focused on the thing that makes the money.

Speaker 2: 11:20

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 11:20

And it sounds like you would. So, when you got out of that, what was? What's been the impact for yourself or clients, or however you'd like to measure it?

Speaker 2: 11:28

I mean, it's been across the board. The impact for me is I get to focus on what I really really enjoy, which is being creative and creating content and being the creative director for our content strategies and tying in all of the psychological models that I love and that I just nerd out on. I get to weave all that together and focus just on that, and for a long time I thought, okay, well, we need to be a full-service agency, we need to do ads and we need to do social media and we need to do all these things that I actually hate. I hate ads, I hate it. So when I finally decided, okay, we're just going to niche down into what we do best, which is content production and making sure that every piece of content has those psychological underpinnings, that's when everything started to come together, because that's what we became known for.

Speaker 2: 12:21

That's what we were able to get really good at. Our clients benefited more, we benefited more and we're able to really refine. If you're in the marketing world, you know that things are constantly changing. Every day, you wake up to an email newsletter that has some new innovation or technology or something that's going to make you freak out, because now the whole game is different, and when you focus on just one thing that you're really good at, that's all you have to worry about. You don't have to worry about all the other noise.

Speaker 1: 12:49

It's the entrepreneur, and out you don't have to worry about all the other noise it's the entrepreneur. And this is like a lot of entrepreneurs are ADD because they can't survive, and so I see this pattern specifically. When you get comfortable that you don't have to chase every opportunity, or you just start seeing that you can make money on one opportunity and just keep focused on that, that's a beautiful thing, and if you can never get there, I do suggest you do something about that, because if you feel like, oh, I need to go here, I want to take that, I want to go, do that. You are setting yourself up for a miserable. You know like you're just going to be horrible, it's going to be. You're going to endlessly work and not get anywhere. You're going to just derail it. Did someone tell you that, though? Did someone go? Hey, focus on this. What was the breakthrough?

Speaker 2: 13:36

Yeah, the moment was actually, and it's been so long now that sometimes I forget that this happened. But I'm glad that you asked because if I think back to the moment when I had that, aha, I was actually on a sales call with a potential client and they asked me so do you have a background in business or in marketing or something? And I got really embarrassed and I'm pretty sure my cheeks turned bright red and luckily it was a phone call, not a Zoom call, so they couldn't see me. But I kind of stammered and I said oh, you know, no, I don't have a degree in business or in marketing. Actually, my degrees are in psychology and criminology.

Speaker 2: 14:06

And I thought that was going to be a huge knock against me and in fact that client leaned in and they go oh really, that's actually really interesting because there's so much overlap between marketing and psychology. I think it could be a real asset to our team and it was that I very rarely need external validation, but it was that conversation that made me go. Oh, I don't have to be ashamed of pivoting careers and going from something that I thought was completely unrelated into this marketing world that I love. I can actually marry the two, and ever since then it's just been a constant merger of everything that I learned in my schooling, as well as working in mental hospitals and drug rehab facilities and community counseling centers, and bringing all of that together into the content marketing world.

Speaker 1: 14:56

Yeah, I'll go back to listening. Like right, like that is an absolute advantage in marketing is having a psychology background. 100 because it's, it's just, it's a different understanding of what works when you read and do things, of how that will impact people at like, an actual physiological level yeah I had it.

Speaker 1: 15:12

Don't have this going for it now. I'm just gonna outsource it. So seriously at this point, you, you, it's just too much. And in yours you had clinical, so it's not like you did it, learned it and this applied textbooks. Anybody can go do that honestly. You could youtube that when you're sitting across it's just too much. And yours you had clinical, so it's not like you did it, learned it and just applied textbooks. Anybody can go do that honestly. You could YouTube that. When you're sitting across somebody who has made some really shitty decisions in life and continues to, and you've gotten to understand the why behind that, you're at a whole new level of understanding.

Speaker 2: 15:35

Absolutely.

Speaker 1: 15:36

And I say that because I've seen people who were in. Just I know it's an advantage. She's not paying me to say this, everybody, I'm just telling you.

Speaker 2: 15:46

Yeah, and my favorite things to think back on now in marketing when my whole professional world is marketing, my favorite things to think back on are actually the times when I was sitting with patients at a drug rehab facility I worked at in San Diego and everyone who was there was either on probation or parole and I had patients who had schizophrenia, antisocial personality disorder, lifelong. I'm talking 50 years of substance abuse behavior and thinking about the models and interventions and therapeutic frameworks that worked with them to change their deeply, deeply ingrained behaviors. That's when I have these light bulb moments of this is what the brain actually needs, this is what the soul actually needs, this is what the humans actually need and, ultimately, that's what marketing is. It's forming relationships and helping people see a path forward in a direction that they had never before considered, because it either looked too scary or they didn't even know that it was there yeah, or they, they, it takes a step like like they're the, the frozen animal that just wants to feel safe to come into something warm, but doesn't know.

Speaker 1: 16:57

he's like okay, I feel safe going in there. I like I know I need air, it I'm freezing to death, but I don't trust any of these houses.

Speaker 2: 17:03

Right, especially when people have been burned before by other. You know companies and people who say that they provide the service that they're looking for and actually end up just taking tens of thousands of dollars. And yeah, there's a lot of healing that has to happen in marketing.

Speaker 1: 17:16

It's funny you use this word burn For where I take my company. We actually are beginning to verify agencies. That's the pivot to our company and so we have a and we actually use Lee with never get burned again.

Speaker 2: 17:28

Oh, I love that.

Speaker 1: 17:29

Our logo is actually a hashtag with a fire Like it's like never get burned again, Pick a verified agency. So it's pretty sure it does feel burn that you look at, you touch it and like that that still hurts it stings. Yes, yeah. What are you most grateful for today?

Speaker 2: 17:49

oh, this is probably gonna sound super cheesy and cliche, but my husband, he's been through every single twist and turn and change and when I've decided to make these big cuts, these big cutting of the ties, he's been there to support me, even when it's terrifying, because firing a client means losing 74% of our revenue. You know, and I decided to make that cut, he's been right there with me saying we can do it, no problem. You know, this is the right call and let's do the right call, not the easy thing.

Speaker 1: 18:21

Wonderful. What's the, what's the tie you're afraid to cut today?

Speaker 2: 18:25

oh yeah, I've been thinking about this ever since your last. Get through this out there. That's a potential question and I'm I'm trying to pick him virtually no, like what am I gonna answer that one?

Speaker 2: 18:37

yeah, um, you know, I think for me and I think you know I'm glad that you mentioned earlier your own like lifestyle changes that you've had to cut ties with, because I think that's ultimately what it comes down to for me I have such a bad habit of being a workaholic, that is, it is so deeply ingrained in my identity and my way of being. It's always work, work, work. Deeply ingrained in my identity and my way of being. It's always work, work, work, work, work.

Speaker 2: 19:08

You know, my husband teases me because I have very few hobbies and if I do have a little list of hobbies, I spend maybe 20 minutes per month or per quarter on them. I always say work is my hobby. Building a business, yeah, yeah, micro hobby, work is everything I do and that's not exactly healthy. And so I think what I the tie that I really need to cut is work being such a ginormous part of my identity and really getting back to, yeah, but what's healthy for me long-term? And making those lifestyle changes to balance out work and, in my case, like health and being outside and things like that.

Speaker 1: 19:48

You? Uh, I would not wait on that one, and so you know, as I meet lots of people in spectrums ages, the ones that are really degradating on, and their biggest regret is they never picked up something tennis, pickleball and their biggest regret is they never picked up something tennis, pickleball, anything that's outdoor related, that allows them to.

Speaker 1: 20:05

Man, I'm so excited to go fill in the blank because then they get to where they can't, they don't want to work anymore, they can or whatever, and then they they, they're done fast. So I would take that one with the idea that my health depends, my life depends on that at 60.

Speaker 2: 20:19

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 20:20

Yeah, so like, really, like you know. So, just conscious of our time, because I know you have a hard shot, I want to know what's the question that I should have asked you that I didn't ask you today, though.

Speaker 2: 20:30

Oh, um, maybe you know one of the questions I love to get asked because I kind of go off on a little bit of a soapbox tirade about it is what's wrong with B2B marketing today and my podcast.

Speaker 1: 20:48

One liner on that one.

Speaker 2: 20:49

Yeah, keep me in check here on this because I could come off for a while but I think it's the biggest B2B mistake is thinking that B2B deals are all logic based and all based on features and benefits, and they're not. They are known by humans who want relationships and who want emotional connection and validation towards their goals, and there's so much more that goes into B2B deals than just features and benefits.

Speaker 1: 21:12

Agreed. When I coach people, the first step is the desperate problem you solve For a B2B person. It's not get me more leads or whatever. It's keep my job. Don't get me fired. That doesn't look good. Right, don't make, that might be the B answer. Make me look good, it'd be an A plus. You're spot on. There's a group of people you're selling to with one influence and there's a whole piece psychology behind that. And you're right. Yeah, nailed it. Shameless plug for you Time Once again. Who should get a hold of you and where should they do that?

Speaker 2: 21:46

Yeah. So I really love working with marketing teams of zero to five in B2B companies because we can help them move faster, smarter and with psychological precision to get more out of every single piece of content that they're creating. And I've worked with companies over the years who a company that I used to write blog content for back in 2018, they're still making money off of the content that they paid me a couple hundred bucks for and it's that kind of ROI that, long-term, it just gets better and better and better every month over month. That's what I love to create for companies Wonderful Thank you so much by the I love to create for companies Wonderful.

Speaker 1: 22:23

Thank you so much, by the way, for coming on today.

Speaker 2: 22:25

Yeah, thanks for having me.

Speaker 1: 22:28

Get older on LinkedIn. You know R-A-I-C-O-O-R-N-E-L-L in the show notes, but thank you for coming on.

Speaker 2: 22:35

Yeah, thanks so much.

Speaker 1: 22:36

Everybody who made it to this point. Thank you for listening watching.