Speaker 1: 0:00

Welcome to the Cut the Tie podcast. Hi, I'm Thomas Helfrich, your host. I think that's a term. Get out there, go cut a tie is the whole idea and the mission behind what I'm trying to help people do is cut ties to things holding them back big, little, small and you got to go to find some success for yourself to figure out which ties hold you back from that. Today, carolyn's joining me. Carolyn, how are you?

Speaker 2: 0:20

I'm good. How are you?

Speaker 1: 0:22

I'm doing well. Thank you for jumping on here with me. Do this, introduce yourself and what it is you do.

Speaker 2: 0:31

Okay, I am Carolyn Denson Lingerieux. I am the CEO and co-founder of Lingerieux Wineries and we label and produce and bring delicious craft champagne from champagne in France to the United States. We work with independent growers and producers to bring delicious, craft, organic champagnes that you can't normally find here to the US, and we have our own brand.

Speaker 1: 1:04

You definitely can't find them because you guys make them. So the only place it's you have your own, your own, your own secret sauce.

Speaker 2: 1:12

No, no, we, we actually don't make it. My husband's family makes it.

Speaker 1: 1:17

I'm sure I had that wrong. Family Right Right.

Speaker 2: 1:21

We import it, we find it, pervade it, bring it to the US.

Speaker 1: 1:28

But you can't just grow this stuff and make it in the US. It has to come from that region to get this kind of feel.

Speaker 2: 1:47

You can't, you can't. There are sparkling wines, of course, in the United States, but they're nothing like champagne, because champagne is the ancient vines and it's the terroir, is the clay, it's the lime. All of that stuff goes into the bottle. So, uh, and it's um, it's illegal to call something champagne that's not from champagne yes, they'll show up and beat you with a bottle.

Speaker 1: 2:01

Use it incorrectly, like it's really a serious.

Speaker 2: 2:04

I'm not sure what they would do, but you know, I mean it's France.

Speaker 1: 2:11

I, I the first protest not work for a week. Then uh tell me a little bit something. So uh tell me how you're defining success in this part of your life defining success in this part of your life.

Speaker 2: 2:29

So for me, success is being able to have a comfortable life without that urgency of I have to make X amount of dollars to be able to buy X amount of things, to be able to, you know, show up in some sort of way that is important to society. For me, it's about relaxing, being comfortable, being happy where I am in life, doing something that I'm passionate about, being with my family, friends. So that to me is success. So if you measure that way, I feel successful.

Speaker 1: 3:03

I mean again, listen, success changes as seasons of life evolve and I think that's a very healthy one. In your own journey and maybe since we last time we talked to this a few months ago, what's some of the ties or a tie you've been working on to cut to help to achieve that success?

Speaker 2: 3:19

The necessity to be driven by finances. The necessity to be driven by finances, that's like a huge tie that is kind of embedded. You know in my psyche, and probably a lot of other people's, that you have to earn X amount of dollars or you have to show this amount of whatever to be deemed successful. And for me I am learning that's not true, like that's that doesn't even matter. My daughter has a saying that money isn't real, like R-E-A-L and, and she has a point. You know it's, it's all. You know it's it's all I don't know. So for me, cutting that tie of like what is necessary, what's important, how much crap stuff, things I need, cutting that tie is, is very important.

Speaker 1: 4:19

It is and it's, it's, it's, it's a reevaluation of something you want or you define. I said it's usually around success and it can be defined however you choose and as long as you chose it. It is important to continually work towards cutting something and holding it back, and some things are more difficult than others. I like the idea. By the way, money isn't real Because it isn't. It's a tool to help you achieve or get something else. Um, you know, in the old days it might've been bartering brains for something that might've been given some of the case of of, uh, champagne for it Like it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's too far off actually, because, uh, you know the world changed and you had to go get a bow and arrow and shoot a rabbit. There's no money involved in that, you just right right, you'll feed your family however you can.

Speaker 1: 5:14

So, uh, there's some truth to that, it's? It's an illusionary piece that we've created to help facilitate things, if you will, um, you know, it's one thing that you know have your success. It's another to know the journey and what you're doing to cut at the tie, the one you just mentioned. Right, what was the moment when you said I'm going to really start working on that?

Speaker 2: 5:36

I think the moment for me is when I moved to France, which was about 13 years ago. That was like the starting of the awakening for me. It's been a process, but when I moved there I realized that people were living such a rich life without all the stuff we have so much stuff in the United States. We truly do, and some of it I brought with me because I have this idea that I can't live without this, that and the third and whatever. But for me, I think the realization started when I started seeing people being happy with all the extra stuff, Because the material things aren't what make you happy. They are not the things that bring you joy and a successful life, and so I started realizing like I can live on so much less and have a much better life than trying to accumulate all these things.

Speaker 1: 6:39

Yeah, trophies, you know, it's not the world that's heavy, it's the things that you save.

Speaker 2: 6:44

Right, right. And so I started. You know living my life with more experiences and traveling and spending time with friends and family. I love to cook, so, like, good food is important and, of course, good wine is champagne.

Speaker 1: 7:02

You didn't send it out, we're gonna. Of champagne, right, if you didn't send it out, we're gonna. You know, it's like I had this debate recently with my wife of of you know in, you know, of this idea of what do we really need? What makes me happy I use a Home Depot bucket, the big paint buckets is the analogy that your happiness is what pours in and, you know, pours out. So, like a nice home, yeah, it's beautiful, there's status, it's comfortable, but the bottom is giant mortgage and, by the way, that money takes away from, maybe, travel, which takes away from something else, right, and and and and that was the example I gave her.

Speaker 1: 7:34

I was like, why don't we, why don't we sell that and go get a nice house but pay cash for the difference of what you sell it for? And we, and then now like we could go spend that exact same amount on travel every quarter and or go buy a rental property that makes us money, or go do something else. And you know her response was like, well, just let's go make more. I'm like, but even if we did, we wouldn't be liquid in, you know, in a summer. And I was just kind of like this whole evaluation of life, of what really matters.

Speaker 1: 8:04

And for me it was like I want to kind of like, fill as many holes in the bucket of happiness so I don't have to put a whole lot in to retain happiness, and in times of abundance it'll overflow, and then, well, maybe I get another bucket that can have some holes in it. Then, anyway, I can keep going for that. I probably should do it, but I love that you've done that and I think along the way of that, you know, it's one thing to define it, it's another thing to know the moment a little bit, but it's the how. You know. It's one thing to know your journey and the success and the moment, and it's another to get it done. So talk about the how. How are you making this happen?

Speaker 2: 8:44

Oh, so the first part of that was living in the moment, like living in the reality of this is what's important right now, as opposed to what happened yesterday or before. That cannot be changed, that part, and worrying about what already happened, you can't really change that. You can just learn from it. What's going to happen tomorrow, we don't know. Every day when we wake up it's something different, something new, it changes, it's fluid. So you can't control that either. But what you can do is live in the moment what is important right now. And then for me the other part was how do you do that? You view like what your life is right at that moment. Just how important is that thing? Because in a day or two that thing that's causing you so much angst may not be important. So kind of like step back, look at it, figure it out and then come back to it isn't it funny how some distance can make everything feel small.

Speaker 1: 10:02

That was true. It's also yeah, it's true, like you know, it's like it is. Like you know, the further you get away from something, you truly get smaller, like from a, from a perception wise, but from time and it does matter, and some things don't, something stick with you health and other things and bad decisions can chase you around a bunch, but not everything has that weight for sure, right?

Speaker 2: 10:22

right, right and what's like earth shattering and so important now, in a day or two may not be that important, and I mean it's the same if you think about it in terms of life. You know, when you're 18 or 19,. That thing, that heartbreak that you have that you will never, ever get over. When you look back, it's like, whew, thank, heartbreak that you have that you will never, ever get over. When you look back, it's like whew, thank goodness that didn't happen. So Right.

Speaker 1: 10:46

Well, you know, my, my 15 year old's like when I'm 18, I'm getting a tattoo. And I was like you told me you wanted a tattoo three years ago Mickey Mouse, like you're 12 or 11 years old. I was like do you want that, matt? Would you want that? Now she's like no. I'm like do you think a tattoo of 18, you're going to want 21 or 25? I go, because you're going to have that much change, if not more, in that amount of time. She's like whatever I'm going to do what I want, I was like just get a henna one and have fun with it, for I like that one. I'm going to go redo it. I'll do it again, but I assure you that little butterfly is going to look like a giant turkey when you're 50. Don't put that little butterfly in some areas that are going to get looser.

Speaker 2: 11:26

Don't be a pterodactyl.

Speaker 1: 11:33

I think a phrase that you can do is I'm going to get a bowl of yogurt on my leg and it's going to look like cottage cheese when I'm old.

Speaker 2: 11:42

You of yogurt on my leg and it's going to look like cottage cheese when I'm old. No, but it's true. It's true, you know. I mean, my daughter is an adult now. When she was 18, she had to have her navel pierced. I said, ok, you can do that, because that's something that you can reverse later on in life. If you get a tattoo, you're stuck with that forever, like you're saying, unless you've done through a lot of hateful removal. So you know, now, at this point in her life, I'm like what about that uh belly button thingy you did when you were 18?

Speaker 1: 12:15

and she's like I haven't seen that in years could say that, but it's only because there'd be fat that's gone all over the top of it, and then it's like it's in there. I know it's there, I just can't get to it.

Speaker 2: 12:28

I doubt that. I doubt that I don't think so I highly doubt that I could get it out.

Speaker 1: 12:34

I could get it out now. I actually made the comment this morning that I have not seen my belly button, just without, really, anyway, that's nothing to do with our conversation. Um, what, uh, what are kind of you most grateful for at this point in your, in your journey?

Speaker 2: 12:47

Oh, my gosh, um, my family and my friends and the people that are in my life, just the people around me. I I realize, and I'm so grateful and thankful, that I have great people. Uh, I come across great people like yourself, you know, just by happenstance. Sometimes, sometimes it's intentional, you know, sometimes I reach out, sometimes they reach out, but the people that I meet are just quality people. It's awesome, it's wonderful. And then I have the people who have been there all of my life. I have a fantastic family. I love them, I love all of them. You know we bicker sometimes, but that's families, but, yeah, the people, the people are what's the most important thing to me in my life. Okay, so you're on this journey and you know we could totally catch up, which is great because I love to hear how you're progressing and doing things. What's been the impact since? You know, this is a business podcast that has the extension of life started the business like how we started the business. It's a very social. I mean, wine is social, right, food is social.

Speaker 1: 14:13

You're not supposed to drink it alone on the couch every night.

Speaker 2: 14:17

That could be problematic. I mean, it's not a bad thing.

Speaker 1: 14:27

Not good for a friend. Problem problem it's better to share.

Speaker 2: 14:48

Oh, then I would need two bottles. That's not fun. I think realizing that I'm not attached to the outcome of what we do in the business has helped drive it and grow it, because I'm not grasping at every single opportunity and I think if I was like super hungry and thirsty that I would, but I don't because I don't have to. So I get to choose and pick and we do together as a family because it's a family business what's quality and like, what supports our brand, what makes us happy, what brings us joy, what reflects who we are as people. So all of that is really important and being able to reflect and see that is great. Like that's where we're seeing the success, because it's happening organically and it's growing super fast. But we don't want it to grow too fast because then you start running into problems. So it's going according to plan and it's good. Things are good.

Speaker 1: 15:48

You described to me how someone discovered FOMO and exclusion. Someone's like I'm just tired of chasing every opportunity. And then somebody came to them and said, hey, I want to go do this. And they're like I just don't want to do that, we're already working with your competitor. And they're like no, no, no, I will pay you triple. And they're like the bell went off.

Speaker 1: 16:08

They said no to somebody that wanted something, and so when you do that, your brand can go up because you're like I just don't do this for everybody. I don't know if you qualify, and it meaning like does it qualify to some other level of standard, but the truth is that's how you build a brand of exclusivity and higher ticket, if you will, is when you don't say yes to everybody. When you say we're not going to be in Walmart, we're only going to be in these places, we're only going to be in these high, you know you need a Michelin star or whatever. It is that changes the dynamics, and I think there's a lesson to be learned just from life that it's more enjoyable, you'll actually get more revenue from it and you'll drive a better brand for yourself, no matter what you're doing, if you don't say yes to everybody.

Speaker 2: 16:44

So I love that, absolutely, absolutely. I how could it be? How? I know you guys have subscription models from us, so we have a small group of regulars clientele, so we like to take care of them, we're hands-on with them, we keep in touch with them and then we're business to business. So you know, right now we're working on getting into hotels and, because of what we are in our price point, it has to be something that's a little higher end. Restaurants we're working with a lot of venues that are doing like private events and activations I just learned that word not that long ago A lot of that kind of branding. People are reaching out to us who are like not necessarily stars, but more in the limelight of life, that want the champagne for their you know dinner or for their party that they're having, or their wedding or their and and so that's.

Speaker 1: 18:14

That's really nice because we get to build a uh relationship with them yeah, I love that, and they get nostalgia with it too, or, oh, I have that at the wedding or as part of. I mean, I could work against. If they get divorced, they may never drink your stuff again. As well, get back by it. You're 50 for sure. The people who are irate for that are never drinking it again after that wedding. There's two of them, so then we're not doing that. That brings me back. Thank you, by the way, for coming on today. I love catching up with you, and this won't be the last time, and now you're all accountable, so next time we get together, you're going to tell me about what you did and what the new thing was. You worked on.

Speaker 2: 18:52

We have so much stuff going on right now. I think we're scheduled all the way out to October. At this point of like, events and parties Some of them are back to back on weekends and what's really cool about where we are right now is someone will reach out and say, oh, I'm going to do this event on the 28th. And I'm like, well, we're booked, we're not going to be there. And they're like what weekends do you have available that you can be there for us? Then I'm like I pull out my calendar so they're rearranging their schedules to meet with our availability. So that's like a huge stepping stone, I think I don't know.

Speaker 1: 19:32

When you're ready to come to Atlanta. You got to let me know so I can figure it out. We'll bring you up here at Alpharetta where it smells like 401k.

Speaker 2: 19:40

Okay, okay.

Speaker 1: 19:42

You make this joke. He's like I'm from Gainesville North and he's like it smells like misdemeanors and marijuana up there and he's like down here. Anyway, we'll get together, We'll get you into Atlanta and you tell me what kind of events you do and I'll find a connection or two if you don't already have it.

Speaker 2: 20:00

Yeah, oh, definitely, definitely yeah. You know, I'm an ex-flight attendant, so I know people pretty much everywhere.

Speaker 1: 20:07

You definitely do know Atlanta, because on your way to heaven or hell you will go through Atlanta.

Speaker 2: 20:12

Oh yes, I know Atlanta far too well, spent way too much time there.

Speaker 1: 20:17

Way too much time there. Thank you, carolyn's coming on. I appreciate it.

Speaker 2: 20:22

Oh, thank you. Thank you, apologize for the interruptions.

Speaker 1: 20:27

No worries, we won't even make the cut. People are like what interruption Do you see you? No worries, we won't even make the cut. People are like what interruption Do you see? You guys want to see the full show, and I do hope it's the first of many and if you've been here before, I really appreciate you coming back. I hope you're cutting ties that things hold you back. But you got to start with defining your own success first to be able to figure out what it is that is holding you back from that. Have a great day.