SPEAKER_03: 0:00

Welcome to the Cut the Tie Podcast. Hello, I'm your host, Thomas Helfrick, and I am here on a mission to help you cut the tie to whatever it is holding you back from success. And you got to own that success. And it's got to be yours because if you're chasing some success idea or dream that's not yours, it's not going to feel very good with to get there. So own it, cut the ties to get to it. And today we're going to talk Kelly Dowd. Kelly, how are you?

SPEAKER_01: 0:22

I'm very well, and it's a pleasure to be here once again.

SPEAKER_03: 0:26

I I appreciate it. Uh you what listen, it's an easy show. So take a moment to introduce yourself, where you're from, what it is you do great.

SPEAKER_01: 0:35

Well, thank you. Um once again. So uh one of the things I tell people initially is um please be aware that I have slight uh a different intonation of talking. And in just in case you know you don't understand me, yell my name across the hall. But in this case, it's that's not gonna be possible. Yeah, so my name is Kelly Dowd, um M B A M A. I'm a Nigerian American, and I try to be clear by saying I'm a Nigerian American because um one of the things they tell people is I was born in Nigeria, then I got catapult to different planets of America. Voila, that is uh how I'm here. I am the author of the forthcoming book on the power of hands and designing a sustainable future to integrate collaboration, because I believe our hands is extremely powerful, and this is the only advanced and natural technology that we always have. And no matter how much we develop AI, it's not gonna replace it. And I am the founder and uh chief designer of Fira Design Inc. So that is Kelly Dowd, and I'm here today, and thanks to you.

SPEAKER_03: 1:42

I said the power of hands is the book. Uh give me the the one thing people need. Let me say this. The one thing. Let me try that one more time. It's a professional podcaster. I'm failing miserably right now. What is the one trigger or one thing going on in someone's life, why they should read it? And what's that one thing they're gonna get from it?

SPEAKER_01: 2:01

The one thing that you're gonna get from this, from reading the book, The Power of Hands, is the beautiful integration of how you can use your hands to create magic. Because, Franklin, you can try to leverage um artificial intelligence, AI, chargeability, and code, which I talked a lot about in the book as well, right? However, the most innovative two that you always have with you is this magical hand, which is your humanity and your adaptation, nature, and the design of life, and most importantly, sustainability.

SPEAKER_03: 2:38

I will tell I I use that term magical hands to to tempt younger when I was younger to tend your date. Yeah, I give you a really good massage, but be white. Not sure that's the same thing that's going on in your book, but I'm gonna tell you, guys, it works.

SPEAKER_01: 2:54

It is anymore, it's just creepy, but uh but here's a beautiful thing about the human body, right? Because um I love the the integration of allegories that's a fiction and non-fiction to create um you know things that are relatable and perhaps you can easily connect with. And one beautiful thing about this hand, right? This human, gorgeous creation by nature is you can actually use it for a lot of things, right? I mean, you talked about massage, and I'll I will tell you that it's once my body's on that table and the magic hand gets me. I'm like, please take me to heaven, right? But another interesting part of it is if you look at a hand as well, if you need to collaborate with a person, it's like you are stretching a hand for that, right? So that is a beautiful part of it. And even go back to the massage, massage is also a collaborative effort, right? Because you are letting your body go for another beautiful human to use your magical hands on you. So it's just an interesting just the position of how nature gave us a lot of equipment that is just deposited in our anatomy. So, and that was the key reason why I chose the ends, because the ends is a beautiful symbol of integration and collaboration all over the world, just like fashion does. So, well, let's hear uh how you define success. Uh, how I define success, uh, that's that's a beautiful question that I'd never anticipated coming. However, I will tell you this success is uh me waking up in the morning, having the breath, having the size, having the feel, the touch, the taste, and all of that. To me, that is success because when there is life, there is hope. And I cannot define success by metrics of money. Neither can I define success by metrics of how many people have slept with or things like that. I mean, you can define success however you want. However, to me, success is the beautiful feeling of being alive because again, when there is life, there is higher for more creativity to happen and more magic to manifest in this being the universe of us.

SPEAKER_03: 5:20

That seems like a very simplistic point. Okay, we'll talk about your journey a bit, uh, and maybe one of the uh metaphorical ties, or the biggest metaphorical tie, or physical, I guess, that you had to cut to achieve that success.

SPEAKER_01: 5:35

Huh. The biggest metaphorical tie that I had to cut to achieve the success. Well, I would say is um cutting our noise. Noise is an element that I mean we manufacture noise, however, is an echo that is extremely disruptive and manifest in different ways. You are familiar with what I call corporate noise, perhaps. And for me, cutting out noise is one of the biggest, you know, metaphoric achievements that I've had, and that is to be caught to the type. Because I almost got drowned in noise and corporate noise, personal noise, when you're talking about like toxic relationships, that is also noise. When you're talking about gossip, it's also noise. So cutting out that noise is one of the things that really helped me to be successful as an individual.

SPEAKER_03: 6:35

So, how did how did you uh cut it? What was your method?

SPEAKER_01: 6:39

Of course, well, um my method, which I know has really worked for a lot of people, because if you read this book, noise by um Daniel Kenman, it does talk a lot about uh about um strategies that which you can use to minimize those echoes that you don't want. Take for example, I had to like make changes to my relationships, you know, I had to make changes to how um I talk to people, how I check in on people, including my language, and including the structure of my language, because I believe all of those is paramount. And the other thing I had to do, which I believe is empirical and um something that a lot of people need to do, please reassess your value proposition, reassess where you are. If you are in the corporate space, for instance, and you feel that perhaps your voice is being shut down, or you feel that your voice is um not been amplified, however you want to describe it, or you feel like you're drowning. Well, if it doesn't serve you, then you let go. And I had to take the leap of faith to tell um fashion, bye-bye. I had to um stick the little faith to tell um pageantry, bye-bye. And most importantly, I had to do the same thing for corporate. You know, I I paid my dues. I learned a lot from corporate, and it didn't serve my purpose anymore because I have done my part, and that was how I silenced that noise.

SPEAKER_03: 8:18

You just did it. Just simply I'm noticing a theme, just simplicity, just go do it. Next thing, let's move on. I like that.

SPEAKER_01: 8:28

I will tell you this, my friend, um, because you know, if if we are looking at a pragmatic standpoint as well, it is extremely challenging for a lot of people to cut that corporate noise.

SPEAKER_03: 8:42

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 8:43

It is really, really challenging because you have to think about a light bulb, you have to think about a roof, you have to think about the bills, you have to think about everything. And you know, so I'm so extremely grateful to the universe, but as simplicity to um your point, and how I've been able to like mouth and you know, to be on this new path that I found myself, which I'm really enjoying. What's uh what's giving you inspiration today?

SPEAKER_03: 9:14

My new haircut. No, that's a good one. I mean, that's one your bar your barber, that would be that'd be who gave it to you, right? If you did it yourself, that would be more impressive, but I don't know how you do that.

SPEAKER_01: 9:24

Well, you're here's an interesting thing. You know, when I said my haircut, I was just joking, but um, you did bring something important, which I I I live because you said your barber, right? And the interesting thing is, so where I had my haircuts today, I've never been there before. So, and um I made this reservation, I got in there, and it was another person that showed up to want to like address my hair, and I told her what I needed to do, and she was just like, I don't think I can handle this. Oh, Marcus! So she cut the other person and beautifully said, sure, I can take him in. And for the first 10 minutes, it was silence. I was hoping he talked to me, and he was hoping I talked to him, and I was looking around, I was just like, my god, I'm feeling so uncomfortable because I'm in this space where I've never been before. And I'm just like, okay, okay, okay, how is this gonna go? And the magic moment happened. Marcos said, Hi, do you want to tell me your name again? And he said, Oh, sure. My name is Kelly. And he said, Kelly, how do you spell that? I said, um, it's K-E-E, Double L Y. He said, okay, where are you from? I said, well, uh, which sort of story do you want? Do you want the cut to the chase or do you want a long one? He said, humble me. I said, sure. Well, I'm Nigerian American. He said, oh, okay, cool. I've never I've met Nigerians, you know, nice, I've never been there before. Anywho, that art of like breaking that, you know, that silence um made me to learn a lot of things about Marcos. My uh beautiful Barbara who took her my hair and made this. I think it's fabulous. I think he did a fantastic job, you know, and it's just to your point, sometimes it's just just a little thing that no one takes note of that really makes deeper meaning. So I will tell you this that act is what is making me to go right now. And of course, my beautiful partner.

SPEAKER_03: 11:35

I think the barber was like, he's so good looking, I don't know what to say. I'm up and that's this level end it there. Um that that's what it was. He was like afraid to say the wrong thing. Uh what's the what's the kind of metaphoric tie or the once again, real time? You might have real time. Uh what's the tie you're trying to cut today that you're struggling with?

SPEAKER_01: 12:00

Well, I think uh and I had a conversation today and with one of my marketing team that really helped me on some work and uh off-shooting. And he said, Hey, I notice you've not been um active lately on LinkedIn. You know, what is going on? I notice you've not been creating content. I I said to him, I said, I think the noise is drowning me. And I think a lot of people can relate to this because everywhere now it's all about creating your content, create something, and we pay attention to the like and to the all of that. So, you know, I told him, I said, that is something that I'm trying to understand why that noise is becoming louder, and how I can, as a creative, you know, and as a writer and as a designer, just let that noise visual out and let me create, right? For the sake of creating important content that's that will help a person to be successful. So that's I think that is the noise I'm trying to cut up now.

SPEAKER_03: 13:16

Well, I I I think you're you're hitting on something that's very important. So as as a as a owner of an agency that specializes in LinkedIn, I will tell you that you're right, there is a lot of noise. But I think the lesson specifically is there, don't put it out there just because everyone else is doing it. It's better to take a pause and find something that's actually of value because when someone actually finds you and you have the services or you solve a problem that they need, it'll it won't look like fluff and shit. It'll look good and it'll hit right because it was thought through correctly and supposed to just throw it out, throw it out, throw it out. Uh yeah. I applaud you for that. The the tie there is probably so much not for you to make the stuff, it is to not be drawn in by the the void and vacuum of of others.

SPEAKER_01: 14:03

You nailed it perfectly and succinctly because it's just it's just the point where you're like, okay, well, there's a lot of materials, and there is a beauty and a lot of, you know, of performing the art of writing and all of that. So the inspiration comes. Fiction and non-fiction and all of that, the strategy, the everything is right there. However, how do you get to that point where you're like, you know, well, I'm not going to jump into the bite of trying to compete with other people, but I will try to put what is right out of there and compete with myself. In that way, I have a better advantage of learning and growing and improving.

SPEAKER_00: 14:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 14:45

What uh if you could go back in your timeline at any point, when would you go back? What would you do differently?

SPEAKER_01: 14:55

Great question. I would say I will go back to um to 19. No, I'll go back to 2002. I'll go back to 2002 and I will tell uh the 12 years at Kelly of that 2002 that hey, um, you have to understand that humans will always be humans. And also you have to understand that the tongue is extremely powerful, and the tongue can make or break, you know, a person's life if you if you don't use it wisely. So tell myself I'll go back and tell myself that hey, listen, you know what you just heard from your friend, that your friend who told you that your leg is like this, you know. Be very careful not to internalize that because if you do, look, my darling, that would affect your your modeling career, your pageantal career, and it'll make you to lose self-confidence. And maybe if COVID happens to happen, you get your confidence back. But anyhow, I will tell myself then is don't listen to that part of my language, bullcraft, okay? Just hold a bull by the hand and smile and tell yourself that no, whatever that friend of yours said is inaccurate and you're darling, you're fibrilless.

SPEAKER_03: 16:23

It's it's it's uh it's the confidence of oneself to not have to find the validation or from somebody else. You gotta be heard and seen, but but there's certain people you don't need to do that with specifically. Uh that's hard. You don't know that in the moment.

SPEAKER_01: 16:42

You know, um I would tell you this, so and I would try as much as possible to be short. Um because, you know, when I was 12, you know, I kind of like gave you a synopsis of what happened. However, when I was 12, this gentleman who I recall I was kind of worshipping, even though yes, my mate is my friend, but I needed a validation, and I recall he told me he said, you know, the reason why you cannot be my best friend is because you have a kaleid. I know what a caleate looks like. I don't have that. I have, you know, a perfect straight leg, and for some reason I internalized that and that showed up everywhere I go. And I remember when I got approached at the age of 16 to be a fashion model, you know, I told the uh no, I asked the lady who scouted at me like, hey, are you sure that you're telling me the right thing? Because I don't think I have the legs for that. She said, What are you talking about? Have you seen your legs? I said, Well, I have. However, that is not what I see. So she said, Well, no, you're fine. And here's the thing. Yeah in, yeah out, day in, day out, fashion show, runway, and I love that, included a pageantry. When people clapped, my friend, you know what I think? I think they were laughing at me. And I recall my eyes was always red at the end of it. My heart is always beating so fast. And fast forward to COVID, and because of that, I never was short, I'll tell you that. Like I hated wearing short because I thought people were like, you know, you make fun of me. And um, COVID happened in 2020, and that was when, you know, the noise was finally canceled. And I had beautiful silence. And, you know, people were like, hey, uh, because I was short, my dad, I wore my mask. I was like, you know what? People will laugh at me. Let them do it, let them laugh. You know, I wore the shortest short I can find, which is like three inches instant short, okay? And I recall I struggled the the uh the streets to go to a movie theater in Washington, DC. And little did I know, people were just like, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, and clapping at things like that, and never makes sense to me. I thought it were even marking me again. Until the following day, I had a car with my therapist, wonderful um lady. And I asked her, I said, um, can I ask you a very um fundamental question that is actually, you know, something I want to get to the bottom of? She said, sure. I said, okay, do you mind if I stand up and show you my legs? She said, uh sure, because it was virtual. And I said, okay. I pulled my chat back, I stood up, but I showed her my leg. I said, Could you please give me um an idea or two of what you think? Is this something that you think is worth being on the runway again and things like that? She was just like, Oh my god, of course. I mean, you have a perfect straight leg, and I cried.

SPEAKER_03: 19:56

You want a perfect straight leg? I think you want a little bottle. Bubble butt some roundness and like a little shape to that thing. It's gotta be straight.

SPEAKER_00: 20:05

No. No.

SPEAKER_03: 20:08

Mine's like two hands got shoved down some hands. You know, I don't uh hear anything. I did start this podcast off for those who've made it this point with the fact that I spilled stuff all over my pants today, and I meant underwear, but I have not proven that yet. They are and that is that you're imagining that. We're gonna leave it at that. Alright, I gotta ask you a question. So uh just there was one question I should have asked you today, though, and I didn't. Okay. What question would that have been, and what how would you have answered it?

SPEAKER_00: 20:44

I guess the question would be um what are my thoughts on humanity?

SPEAKER_03: 20:52

That's a deep one. I mean, I don't know if we have that much time left to answer that thing, but okay. Well, how would you answer that?

SPEAKER_01: 20:58

Well, a few minutes, go. Of course, I would say uh my thoughts on humanity is we are one of the blessed species that ever existed because we were blessed with a lot of um embodiments of knowledge, you know, of art, of thoughts, and all of those gluten crap that make us who we are. And um it's so imperative and sad to see that the same ecosystem that we're supposed to know and flourish is the same thing, you know, that um pit us against each other and make us to see ourselves as um enemies or just competitive um like rats on uh uh on a treadmill. So um what I would say is, you know, we are incredibly different compared to a lot of the other species that have ever existed, and we should see that difference as a beauty, including the language, the structure, the shapes, the color, and all of those as a competitive advantage instead of um as a problem or something of stigmatized.

SPEAKER_03: 22:14

You know, I think humans are um we're blessed with the idea of creativity, which will allow us to do lots of things, include believe that we are not just really a different version of an animal. Is that animal things that we'll repeat that has territory, wants to you know replicate, eat, give this, and we just we make up everything else in between as a dream. I actually probably think we're probably the nascent versions of ourselves to be, because if you look about how undeveloped we use our brains, yeah, there's a lot more that's gonna happen the next million years if we don't kill ourselves for this. But um, yep, for sure. So cool. I love the Ingrid states. I'm I'm gonna be uh they're gonna be like that guy was like a look at that guy, it was like a you know caveman. You live in a house. Who lives in houses anymore?

SPEAKER_01: 22:58

Well, come on, come on. Uh someone gotta do it. Someone gotta do it, someone gotta have a house. That works high and cut it off. Made no sense. But but this is what I'm gonna tell you, though. You know, um you if I'm to like look at you, I'll tell you about maybe it's a 10% of their brain. And this conversation, that's a two percent looked on to like 26%. I assure you. So you'll be one of those fastest humans to have that fast developed brain, and maybe you will bring the next invention. I believe that. Unlikely.

SPEAKER_03: 23:31

49, it's not half up. This point trying to try to figure out I had a backhand in tennis. I've never done that before, it's a hard thing. Like, anyway, uh uh who should get a hold of you, how do they do it?

SPEAKER_01: 23:43

Well, you can find me on LinkedIn. Um, if you're a leader, if you're a designer, policymaker, you can find me on LinkedIn, uh, just uh d Kelly Doubt or on any other social media, you find me as D Kelly Doubt T-H-E K-E-L-R-Y-D-A-W D. And that's my end for everything, including Facebook as well. So feel free to connect with me and um we'll take it from there.

SPEAKER_03: 24:08

He looks like uh like a really good-looking version of SEAL. Like, ooh.

SPEAKER_00: 24:16

Oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_02: 24:22

Like he was gonna be like talking about his you know, his his wife, their model self.

SPEAKER_00: 24:28

I thought you appreciate that.

SPEAKER_01: 24:32

Well, still if you if you're watching this wherever you are, still, it's a compliment to hell yeah, and so you can't look who he dates, okay, or Mary do.

SPEAKER_03: 24:44

I'm not sure if they're still married or not, but uh yeah, it's married, it's another supermodel, perhaps. Come on, it's your world, like you should seen in line.

SPEAKER_00: 24:53

He opens his mouth like rainbows come out singing and that's got reports coming, so comedy shine.

SPEAKER_01: 25:06

That's amazing.

SPEAKER_03: 25:09

I'm gonna give you uh my alter ego uh channel after this is over. I'll tell you that.

SPEAKER_01: 25:14

That would be amazing.

SPEAKER_03: 25:15

Thanks for coming on today, Kelly. I appreciate it. Thank you so much for having me. Listen, anybody who's uh made it this point in the show, you rock. If this was your first time, I hope it's the first of many. And if you've been here before, you know what I'm gonna tell you to do. Get out there. Let nothing stop you from the success you've defined. Cut the ties to whatever's holding you back and get it done.